squaddd

alrights,
is sad to say that i'm moving back to my old and private bloggg(:
cause i know your will miss me.
alright lahs,
jalga for good = goodbye(:
 

hey peeps,
tomorrow is the last paper of O's for me & some of my buddies,pals,friends!(:
so how are all of you feeling now?
actually i thought i might feel actually super extremely shocking happy,
but i was filled with mixed emotions instead.
hmmmms, this leads me wondering why.
okay,  i guess all of you must be super happy ahs!
is like breaking free from JAIL, wahahahahahhah!:D
alright, after looking at Angela's blog,
decided to post in my rotten livejournal,
cause long time never post, is like so dead.
so therefore last paper, i'm slacking here right now! *oooops!
didn't mean to, i'm not complacent okay!
is just that kind of feeling too slack and too sian to do anything,
but i'll just go study later anyway!(:
before i study, imma gonna go do my toe nails, wahahahahhaha:P
so saw angela's list of post O's things to do,
so decided to come up with mine toos(:

Post O's things to do :

- Swim very much often!
- Ice skating with old pals, maybe?
- SHOPPING SPREE, later i broke cause not working:X
- chiong drama(:
- go malaysia with family and cousins!(:
- SPARK & CHRISTMAS BLOW OUT(:
- rot at home until bth!!! (:
- learn how to skateboarding!!!!!!! (anyone willing to teach me!)
- go cycling, to see if i still remember how to cycle anot:X
- go drinking with Jasmine&Ashry(:
- KTV SESSIONS, WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS ACCOMPANY(:
- l4d sessions, with usual co!
( people like: Grace, Angela, Keith, Ivan, Kaijing, and and etccc! )
- CLEAR MY ROOM, THIS IS A YES YES MUST DO THING! *its in a mess totally:X
- DIETING, WOOOHOOOOOO GO RUNNING, SWIMMING, EVERYDAY:X maybe not everyday lahs, but at least try to!!!
- wanna read some storybooks, or maybe to finish some, which i read it here and there and everywhere:X
- go marry my JANG GEUN SUK, nahhh im kidding! :D

nothing on mind now, so yahs...
that's all for now(:
LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS!(:
AND THE MALAYSIA TRIP COMING UP!!!!!
WOOOLALALA!!!
AND ALSO PARTYYYYY!
LET'S PARTY IN SINGAPORE RATHER THAN USA(:
WAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
AND THERE'S CELEBRATION TOMORROW AFTER LAST PAPER!!!!(:
THEN AFTER THAT NIGHT TIME, CONCERT IN RP, SHIOK LAHHHHSSSS!
FRIDAY DINNER WITH HT3, PLUS ROGER PLUS ZHIYONG PLUS PLUS!!!(:
AFTER THAT GO DOWN TO EAST COAST TO MEET FUSEMETAL & CO, maybe not very comfirm yet:X
alrights,
jalga=goodbye!
 

 

HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YAHS MYSELF,
AND TO THE PEOPLE WHO IS BORN ON THIS DAY!
i have always envied people on their birthdays, i have to admit that.
and this year, had a total surprise from cell group of their cakes that i will remembered of,
and also the count down calendar(:
loveee it, thanks alot!
there is no way i could express this joy of their presents and their hearts most of all.
and the people that i didn't expect to give me gifts,
actually did, was shocked, surprise, happy and moved at the same time!
:D
and for those who forgot, god bless still(:
anddddd most of all, tomorrow is my maths paper1,
my forte!!!
is a present from the government and cambridge,
how honored can i get?!!! :D
WOOOOHOOOO, hopefully tomorrow's examiner who checks my ic/entry proof,
would say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, then it'll be damn cool lahs!!!
:D:D
most of all, i thank god for this day!
looking forward to the day where i'll celebrate with my boyfriend,
with a blue rose(:
so sweetttt,
and here's a joke that i wrote on msn!
"JANG GEUN SUK, I'M 17 LIAOS! LET'S GET MARRIED!"
(kiddinggggg, joke of the day!!!)
gtg,
jalga = goodbye!!!
 

 

heyhey peeps, i'm here to post(:
today had my very first paper, which is ENGLISH,
hmmmms, i guess overall it was manageable,
though was feeling a wee-bit of depressed about paper1,
but i guess i'll let it pass, can't let it affect,
cause is all onto his hands!
heaved a sigh of relief,
as the paper2, wasn't that difficult than i expected,
i feel good:D:D:D:D
cause the passage wasn't about history or some profound stuffs,
but was just some stories:D:D
and interesting ones, which didn't got me to sleep!
YEAHHHHH I DIDN'T SLEEP FOR ENGLISH PAPERS!:D
SIGH OF RELIEF = ONE PAPER DOWN(:
WOOOOHOOOO!
and i never had such weird feeling,
i guess is a mixture of nervousness, stress and so much more...
but yeah still do it anyway!
JIAYOUS TO ALL O LEVEL'S STUDENTS OUT THERE!
ALL THE BEST MAN,
THIS IS THE VERY LAST JOURNEY TO OUR WIDE OPEN ROUTE TO OUR FUTURE!
2WEEKS AND 2DAYS MORE, THEN END OF O'S!
HERE COMES MY LONG ANTICIPATING HOLIDAYS AND SPARK!
(:
loveeee all!
jalga = goodbye!

let's put an end to it.
listening to the same old song,
blasting it through the speakers.
pretending or rather avoiding,
but it doesn't helped.
hundreds, thousands and million of times,
history repeated.
upon the looks of things, things seems to be so much worst than it did in the past.
and looking back, i guess is just back to the same old place, one big circle.
oh, walking in circles. indeed.
i ran, i fall, i stand up, i jog, then run again, and fall.
what doesn't kills me, makes me stronger. (stronger)
but not strong enough.
stretch out my hand, finding something to hold on,
to grab upon, but still ending up the same.
need a break, need some fresh air, need to clear my mind,my thoughts.
is all too awful with those negativity, i can't stand.
need some positive influence!

tahe ouy, for your illusions, for your stuns,
that mislead me into deeper pit.
htea uyo, for being such a jerk.
teha yuo, for being a faker all this time,
only to realise it now.
eaht ouy, for being this way and that way.
ukcs oyu
 

people's comments,
doesn't make it go away,
it never did any help at all.
it didn't made me feel any way better.
):<
feeling stress out, and unwell at the same time.
science practical it's on its way, on this thursday.
i don't know, but well i can't decide on the results either.
it's been a long tough journey, and it hasn't end.
is like a nightmare, but i can't comprehend.
and now feeling totally stress and drain,
thus leading me to some kind of thoughts that i always keep away/avoided from,
when i'm focusing, now it is surfacing again.
what a nightmare!
come to think of it, i was blind right from the start.
i guess i am, but i just want to choose to be not NOW.
i avoided that thought, but it still came surfacing it up.
and only to realise, at the end of this dream,
i was all along playing against myself.
*shattered.
to me, you failed as a friend.
and as a stranger, you've been doing a great job. (invisible)
been feeling terrible, seriously... ):
and yahs, life's still move on.
i just came here to rant, and later back to my drawing.
no rest for today):
there's so much more assignments to go, than to rest for getting well.
for heaven's sake, what are they thinking?!
are we really some kind of super heroes? super kiasu!
alright, i'm getting pissed.
bye.
 

{ i want to, and i'll learn to! no matter what circumstances! }

[ WARNING : THIS MIGHT BE A DAMN EMO POST, I GUESS THE MOST EMO ON MY LIVEJOURNAL SO FAR! ]

Hey people, is been a long while since i've last posted in here.
so how's life? hopefully is great...
5more days, to no more school lessons:(
guess i'll miss all of my dear cute classmates! :(
and 13more days mannn, to our O's!!!
is our last lap man, let's sprint instead of jogging and running slowly! (:
and anyway, as my life goes up and comes down.
i'm left with the downs currently.
is been really tough being the I & C person :(
have you guys, ever heard of the D.I.S.C test?
i did it, and i got the same number of I and C, it isn't something that great,
is like the total opposite of it.
the I is damn happy&hyper, while the C is like damn emo&quiet.
ain't that big of a contradiction?):<
so yahs, when i'm happy, i can be really overjoy,
while when i'm sad, i'm like emo-ing away, as if somebody has died?:X
hmmmms yes, my emo mode is on now, that's why im talking about all these crappy stuffs.
kind of random but yeah, just bear with it though.
today was overall an OKAY day for me, but in the end my mood was totally ruined,
i did not see * in the morning (fine)
then after that, yadayada lessons as usual, was okay!
but somethings happened, when i was looking forward to it,
but nevermind i just want to get used to disappointment.
):<
and i guess what C says are right, the I's people cannot really keep things inside of them, if something really happen.
and C says, if they could, they are actually really miserable.
i look fine, i look alright, but you might not know.
i don't know why, and what went wrong?
that i become someone like that, i'm a open book they say,
yeah true, only through my expressions, but afterall i keep mum about it.
and yeah, is really miserable, for all i can say.
{ i really don't know why, i've become someone like that }
alot of things had happened recently, be it my family, my friends or rather my studies...
i'm totally sick of how life goes, i can't denied that i did thought of dying,
but considering what i have not done, i drop that idea.
just gonna swallow down the tears and the anger.
i wish i could be there when things had happened, for you:(
but i did not, and i didn't manage to get you back on the road, that was why i look so bu shuang on saturday.
is not really bu shuang, but i'm just feeling really miserable and sad.
the thing that i heard about, really pains my heart, but yet there's only the "what if" coming to my mind,
but ain't it all too late?):<
and is just one after another, all i ask is your strength and your grace to get me through this whole time.
*really hate thinking too much, but i can't helped it:(
sometimes i really don't understand, do i speak alien language or what,
how come people always mistake me as giving attitude and moodswings?
although alot of things had happened, i put it aside and continue to move on,
but why can't you people just make my life easier? :(
people around me always gets mistaken that i was giving attitude, and some others thought that i give them attitude because of another person, ridiculous!
obviously not, why don't that person think that it was actually because of himself/herself that i got so mad, and i didn't scold you at all that time-.-
sigh, why do i always gets mistaken and ending up in an arguement?
do you think i would really enjoy or happy when i argue with your? i don't.
why don't people put their shoes into mine?
and is been years since we've known, i guess im a person that is hard to understand. (maybe?)
(and there's no intention to this post,im not angry,is jus that i don't get why)
jalga = goodbye.

im sensitive enough, thus leaving me to so many broken hearts and tears.

hey peeps, won't be posting so much anymore,
O's are coming!!!
goodness gracious, and im still being spammed assignments neverthelessly,
i just can't do much of my revision.
decided to discipline myself more, jiayous people!!!
just some random ranting:X
disdain people with stupid kind of attitude, and their stupid tone!
sigh, just really pissed off with this people.
and after this, i shall watch my tone while i talk to people as well...
never do i want to be the people that i disdain, bloody idiots!!!
ROARRRR !!!!!
yesterday you said so, and tomorrow you are like that,
how ironic can a human be? *nice one!!!
ANYWAY WON'T EVER TRUST IN HUMAN'S CRAPPINESS(:
don't say it if you can't do it, because the next day you end up just like someone whom has pissed me off the previous day.
just know who i meant:D
jalga = goodbye(:
 

 

{ nice saying, let us all find time in moving on(: }


heyhey peeps,
i'm here to post, anyway how was your day?:D
mine, i would finally say it's really great!
nothing much, any other simple day, and ended a simple one(:
anyone wants to guess why i'm so happy today?
i'm wondering toos, but i know why already,
firstly my O level art coursework, has finally been done! YEAH HIP HIP HOORAY!
(but not forgetting there's a upcoming paper2 to go!)
and there's so many birthdays coming up, feeling the joy though it isn't mine:D
Ms Loo's birthday coming up, and Yiling's, not forgetting Ivan's too! :D
anyway, this week is a sinful week,
and please when i say sinful don't think too far, i didn't do any stuns,
is just that i've been eating too much good food, so feeling sinful moreover fatty fats! :X
but nevermind, decided to eat while i can, cause after my O's i'll be able to work out on my weight:D
(eat and died tomorrow(:!)
not forgetting i've finish my prelims art, but still needa touch up on it more):<
i'm sooooo theeee lookinggg forwardddd to tomorrowwww(((((((((((:
moreover, today's last paper, YEAHHHH!
only left tomorrow's practical exams:D
WOOOHOOOO! happy for the time being, but decided to chiong like mad after that though,
i will take breaks and relax lahs:D
anyway, i'll be going to swimming tomorrow:D that's partly i'm so looking forward to it!
with Jasmine Chua somemore, hopefully her leg won't hurt too much):
as she fell down yesterday, also don't know what exactly happen ahs!
and and andddd there's so much things in mind to post about! :D
BURPPPPPP!
ate too much, one meal is more than enough liaos.
really sinful sia this week,
on monday went over to Grace's house, actually to chiong studies and chit-chat,
but ended up slacking and sleeping for most of the time, cause do until half,
i suddenly don't feel well):<
had a premonition that i'm going sick sooner or later, not proclaiming though,
is just that i've been given signals!!!!
anyway, i'm really distracted while blogging as i'm on facebook and plurk:X
add me on my plurk yeah!
ohya, i ate instant noodles at grace's house and a really sinful cheese cake from Cedele,
where i used to work last sept-dec holidays after my N's(:
then on tuesday, felt like eating KFC,
so i went to 888 with Ag, Chun Keong & Suhaila to eat KFC(:
NICEEEYYYYY! though i prefer my DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER:DDDDD (wide grins!)
then today, woahhhhhh even more sinful cans!
was about to eat super duper little today, but yeah i give way to temptation):<
LOLOL!!!!
after the last paper, which is art today, went art room,
pack our coursework&mounting board, put it all in teacher's office.
went off, and waited for Ms Loo to finish her meeting, and took taxi to causway.
reached, Chun Keong hungry, supposedly going to food courrt,
but we saw this tempting shop, Breeks with student price!
so stood there, check out the price and eventually went in and give way to sinfulness):<
LOLOLOL! but shiokkkkk!!!
there were Ms Loo, Chun Keong, Ag&me, only 3 of us eat something except Ms Loo ordered a dessert to share(:
i must say my meal was delicious, yummyyyy!
but Chun Keong wasn't satisfied with his food, cause not nice... :X
and the dessert came, i must say it was really HUGEEEE!!!
when it came, all of us came out a sound : " WOAHHHH!"
so yahs, shall post the picture when i got it from Ag(:
let your see how huge it was, anyway is Mango don't know what, i forgot:X
is kind of nice, but kind of sweet and sour, and i can't imagine i just drank the syrup, SWEET):<
it was Ms Loo's treat, thanks alot:D
but feel very theeee :X badddd ):<
anyways, is almost 8pm, i've gotta go do some stuffs(:
jalga = goodbye!

reminder : 5N2, please bring the class tee-shirt tomorrow(:
things to do currently :
maybe 1hr-2hr of revision,
Q.T!!!
spend some time doing some "art"?(:

hey peeps, alrights i'm here to post once more:D
anyway how was your week, tomorrow's a school holiday:D
YEAHHH CHEERS!!! :D
but sadly, i still need to do so much stuffs than to enjoy and relax throughout the day):
but is okay, is all gonna be worthwhile, in the least i know that when i get my results,
i've already done my best:D
no matter what the results may be, i will have no regrets!
though i kind of regretting not studying in the past, during my sec3 to 4s, i was like sleeping:X
what a bad example, so let's chiong ahhhs!!!
:D
had a really great day, recently i've always look forward to sunday service more than saturday service:D
AHAHAHAHA, it was really great and refreshing to serve in Nursery,
though still in the midst of learning so much things,
and i'm so glad that i'm in Nursery serving now,
it was a roundabout as i did ask about serving in Nursery a few years ago,
now now nowww that is not too late:D
had a great time in service for Praise&Worship, then Nursery,
though little kids came in today, but nevertheless i enjoy the time spend with the kids/babies and most of all the co-workers:D
didn't know when did i ever develop such attachment to my serving, it feels kind of, hmmms... (can't define it, experiece it yourself:P)
it was really a great feeling, and obviously LCD ministry in teens as well,
it was where i've been for years, time flies ahs frankly speaking.
alrights, then went to eat lunch, slack and study, (though i did not for some reasons)
and we chatted quite alot, as there were Grace, Adam, Justin, John and Chang Hua(:
it was really simple, and fun. to realise we should cherish simple times, simple meals and simple talks(:
and then went home at 6plus, reach woodlands at 7plus i think, then me&Grace started chatting in the interchange,
and guess until what time?! (haaaa, until 9plus going 10pm)
(:
yeah can really talk alot, but mostly on the serious stuff,
then i started looking back when we were still young,innocent:D
haaa, we have really change and grow alot,
in terms of maybe appearance, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
as in the past we used to talk random topics, and it was kind of childish but memorable indeed.
and after talking much, i realise&see my problems,
and some other problems, that we need to deal with ourselves first.
i don't want to be someone who see the prick in other people's eyes, but can't see mine:D
hopefully, we'll manage to deal and get over it,
is just one of the tripping/stepping stones in life that we need to go through,
so yeahhhh!
i'm picking myself up from one of the deepest pit in my life, struggling hard still.
but not giving up once again, emphasizing that! :D
i really want to see things in a different light, the light that i'm seeing now is too negative-.-!
JIAYOUS JIAYOUS JIAYOUS to myself, and people who are moving on/struggling/in need:D
anddd i was reminded of a question " what are you still holding onto, all these while?"
in which leading me to no where but some destructions, and only to making me more weary, more miserable as a person.
but i know is not the end, and is just a process whereby i need to go through.
as long as i know the reason why, i'll be able to move forward, and march on like the soldiers(:
SI MIN SHALL KEEP IN MIND OF THAT!!!!!!
and for all things, i'll just be myself, being truthful to myself, not against my principles.
& to the people around me! :D
for some reasons why, i look back on my previous posts, i feel dumb/silly?! :X
duh-.-!
anyways, i'll just make an effort and if people doesn't then i don't care already ahs,
cause is no longer my problems but his/her own problems.
is just whether you want to stay as friends or not? is simple and easy.
and i'll never ask for anything more, not more than a friend, nor less than a friend.
is fully your choice to make, to make an effort or not to.
alright lahs, shall post till here,
and 1month&3weeks more to go, my holidays:D
jalga = goodbye!
-
-
-
" so many things in life, i had hold onto.
but learning to let go of it now, only to realise all these while i've been suffering and weary through it.
doesn't serve as any purpose/reasons for me to carry on holding onto these stuffs.
yahs, is time to let myself become happier like i used to. "